Capturing Imperfection

I almost titled this "Capturing Perfection" but I think "Imperfection" is so much more appropriate. I had a moment a few weeks ago when I saw perfect ice crystals falling from the sky, the kind of snowflakes that kids always try to replicate with paper cut-outs. These particular snowflakes were incredibly detailed, asymmetrical, and, well, perfect. I tried my best to capture them with my camera and my efforts were quite imperfect. I berated myself for not having the ideal gear, or the perfect unshaky hands. How could I not capture this flawless beauty and share it with the world?

Well, it's not so easy. I tried, I failed. But then I started thinking about "perfect." I am a recovering perfectionist. I say "recovering" because it's very much still a process for me to make mistakes, to fail, to be imperfect. I was the kind of student that was not satisfied unless I had an A+, not just an A. My papers had to be impeccable or else it was a failure in my mind. I have slowly gotten over that mindset. In fact, I try my best (but I'm not perfect!) to teach my daughter that failure is necessary to learn. I don't want her to be worried about getting things absolutely perfect. We are all constantly in process and learning to better ourselves. If we attain perfection, what is left to learn? Perfection can also mean stagnation and stalling growth. So I make mistakes, even big ones, and hopefully I learn from them and continue to grow, in my work and my life.

As I saw those "perfect" snowflakes I couldn't help but think how perfect nature is. But then I really thought about it. Like human nature, nature itself is not perfect either. When you think about it, evolution is the epitome of learning from mistakes. A plant or animal evolves and continually makes itself better - over long periods of time, but still, it isn't "perfect." It's "survival of the fittest," not survival of the most sublime being. So, when I really looked at those snowflakes, they were not perfect, but they were beautiful nonetheless, as is the pine tree that leans at an almost impossible angle and still survives, or the photographer who fails at one image, but keeps trying with others. (And, yes, this is an imperfect blog post!)